❥ 001 video
[Daneca has spent the first few hours going through the posts to the network. She...]
[...doesn't know how to feel about any of this so far. People going missing and others turning up dead. Zombies, vampires. And Cassel. Realistically speaking, Daneca knows she should probably be more anxious over a potential serial killer running around than the prospect of speaking to Cassel again, but that's what gives her more pause than anything. (At least she's not totally surprised by the idea of a serial killer on the Barge, she figures. Still in the realm of sanity for now.) She thinks maybe she should send him a private message or try to find him and speak one-on-one, in private. But that seems like too much even for her right now.]
[So, she settles for just introducing herself to everyone else. If he wants to talk to her, he can. If not...]
[Well, he doesn't have to. It's not like Cassel owes her anything anyway.]
[With that resolved, she can go back to being properly more anxious about people turning up dead, zombies, and vampires. And apparently also werewolves being real as well.]
[Daneca appears a little stiff and tense. Being on camera and broadcasting like this makes her a little nervous in ways that are harder to cover up than other things that make her nervous or uncomfortable. But it doesn't paralyze her or make her smile seem like a disingenous cover for nerves that ends up looking more scary than pleasant. Daneca is not someone who can lie very well. It's nervous and small, but her smile is no less sincere. She's trying desperately to channel her mother right now.]
I know I'm coming in at a really bad time, but I thought I should probably introduce myself anyway. My name is Daneca and I'm new. [She flushes a little and says a little softer:] Obviously.
[She shifts a little uncomfortably and finds the strength in her voice again.]
I'm a warden for anyone that might matter to.
[She's sure it does especially to some of the inmates. She'll lie about other parts about herself anyway. Might as well be honest about some things that might make people uncomfortable.]
Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for a tour. Or advice. Whatever anybody can spare.
[...doesn't know how to feel about any of this so far. People going missing and others turning up dead. Zombies, vampires. And Cassel. Realistically speaking, Daneca knows she should probably be more anxious over a potential serial killer running around than the prospect of speaking to Cassel again, but that's what gives her more pause than anything. (At least she's not totally surprised by the idea of a serial killer on the Barge, she figures. Still in the realm of sanity for now.) She thinks maybe she should send him a private message or try to find him and speak one-on-one, in private. But that seems like too much even for her right now.]
[So, she settles for just introducing herself to everyone else. If he wants to talk to her, he can. If not...]
[Well, he doesn't have to. It's not like Cassel owes her anything anyway.]
[With that resolved, she can go back to being properly more anxious about people turning up dead, zombies, and vampires. And apparently also werewolves being real as well.]
[Daneca appears a little stiff and tense. Being on camera and broadcasting like this makes her a little nervous in ways that are harder to cover up than other things that make her nervous or uncomfortable. But it doesn't paralyze her or make her smile seem like a disingenous cover for nerves that ends up looking more scary than pleasant. Daneca is not someone who can lie very well. It's nervous and small, but her smile is no less sincere. She's trying desperately to channel her mother right now.]
I know I'm coming in at a really bad time, but I thought I should probably introduce myself anyway. My name is Daneca and I'm new. [She flushes a little and says a little softer:] Obviously.
[She shifts a little uncomfortably and finds the strength in her voice again.]
I'm a warden for anyone that might matter to.
[She's sure it does especially to some of the inmates. She'll lie about other parts about herself anyway. Might as well be honest about some things that might make people uncomfortable.]
Anyway, I guess I'm just looking for a tour. Or advice. Whatever anybody can spare.
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[But that's cowardly, and sometimes he can manage not to be a coward.]
[He squares his shoulders and does not ask her why would you want that, even though, with what she's seen of him, he honestly doesn't understand.]
I guess I didn't. But, I mean. That's what I want too.
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[She expected instead for him to look straight at her and, without even batting an eye, tell her whatever he wanted to hear like it was the gospel truth.]
Then we'll get there.
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[And here's something else completely alien: Cassel looks at her, but his expression is shy, uncertain. He doesn't want to do wrong. He doesn't want to do anything wrong. He doesn't want to treat her with too much care. He just doesn't want to mess up.]
Cool.
I meant it about - if you have any questions. I've been here nine months, I know some shit.
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I guess I just kinda wanna know some of the highlights of the place. Aside from zombies and vampires and werewolves.
[Just don't talk about Death Bingo, Cassel. Don't.]
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It's a good place. [A beat.] I know it doesn't seem like that, but there are really good people here with all the crazy awful shit. And nobody has any preconceived notions about -
[He spreads his hands, gloved palms up.]
Nobody gets it. Of course, that also means that nobody gets it, and - [He makes a face. Naked hands everywhere.]
Anyway. Sometimes ports are awesome, too, we went to LA once.
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[She's still keeping the gloves on though regardless. She's not feeling that liberated here.]
Well now I regret not getting here sooner. I always wanted to experiment with becoming a beach bum.
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Oh, the CES is awesome too. It gives you all kinds of places. Did Lark show you?
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[Insane. Incredible. Hard to believe actually possible. Exactly like something out of a TV show or movie. The coolest thing she's ever seen.]
[She blushes a little at how speechless it makes her and shakes her head.]
You'd think being on a ship flying around in space, I'd probably be more prepared. But I wasn't expecting anything like that. It was cool.
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[It does not matter that they're kind of having a moment, Cassel will still complain.]
That's what always gets people the first day. The deck and the CES. They're the only reason people don't go crazy here more often. It's like you get to be free for a couple of minutes, even if technically you're not.
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[Daneca doesn't need to ask if Cassel was an inmate or not and she doesn't need to ask if he felt like he was ever trapped her. Cassel felt trapped back home and he had way more freedom there than he ever would have here.]
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[A firm, instant answer. He loves it there. His best memories are there. It's a place that feels like it loves him, although really, it's just a place he's been shown love.]
[He hangs onto that silence and his smile for a little too long, and feels awkward again, rubbing the back of his neck.]
I mean, sometimes it tosses out duds, but it's always changing. It's good.
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You're happy here, [she notes with a softer smile.]
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I'm happy here, [he confirms.]
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[That's just the way Cassel is.]
Good. You deserve it.
[She won't guilt him about going home right now. Someday maybe he'll find it himself to go back, see his grandfather and maybe his mother. But right now, this is clearly what he wants and what he needs.]
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[He hunches his shoulders.]
Maybe.
He had a picture of you. Barron did. To remember you by, even after.
I tore it up before I left. [Like punctuation; the end of a chapter. He had finished his story, he just had to end Barron's in as nasty a way as he could without actually making him bleed.] I just didn't give a shit. [It felt good.]
I gave it back before I graduated. Before Barron left. I made it again.
You deserve the full story.
[Ilia arches his back and makes his way over, stepping over Mel as if over refuse, and sinks his claws deliberately into Cassel's leg.]
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[As much as Daneca tries to always see the good in people, there's just no denying the darkness that was in Barron. He had the capacity to be good, to be sweet. She saw that when they were together, in the attention and devotion he paid to her. She liked him and he liked her. He didn't care that she was a worker. He trusted her not to work him and she trusted him not to work her. It was something Daneca had never known with a single human being on the planet outside of her family. It was something Daneca never thought she could experience or would have a right to.]
[It was like a dream.]
[And that's the problem. Dreams have an end and you wake up to reality sooner or later. Cassel made it sooner rather than later and spared Daneca a lot of heartache down the line. Even if Barron never ended up hurting her directly himself, the life he led never would have allowed for it to work in the long-run. And that wasn't something she held against him knowing how many workers follow the same path as Barron. What she did hold against him was what he did to Cassel. The way he toyed with his own brother for his own gain, not really caring about the consequences but dressing it up like it was some kind of love and affection. Some kind of protection.]
[Maybe it was in its own screwed up way, but there were better ways to protect Cassel than lying to him like that. Than taking away his memories or his right to choose anything for himself.]
[But she can't stop Cassel in time. He keeps talking and she finds herself wanting to scream at him to stop. She doesn't want to hear or know any of this. She doesn't need to know. Her mouth just hangs slightly agape as he explains, as he talks about how he made it up to Barron. She feels suddenly like she can't breathe and the room is spinning, but she finds herself on her feet anyways.]
[She wants to bolt and run, but she can't. That's not in Daneca to just run from something that's painful. She turns her back to Cassel, covering her mouth. Daneca wants to say that it's enough what he did for Barron in the end. Barron probably forgave him and that's what's important. It's not about her. It's never been about her. It's always been about Barron and Cassel, about brothers who don't know how to be family. But her heart was caught in the middle. She can see Barron's screwed up logic of trying to protect Cassel without agreeing with it. But there's nothing like that in what Cassel did to Barron. It was manipulative and selfish. It was just meant to hurt and destroy. It didn't matter to him who got caught in the crossfire. As long as he finally beat his big brother.]
[Daneca turns to look at Cassel. She crosses the short distance from the chair to where he's seated on the bed. She doesn't hesitate, lashing out with a single slap across his face that echoes in Sam's emptier half of the room.]
[She stands stock still at first. Part of her is in shock at what she just did without really thinking. Part of her is trying to see past what fills her vision now. She can't see the Cassel who gives shy glances and smiles when talking about things he actually cares about; the inmate turned warden. She can only see the selfish little monster who just wants to matter and doesn't care how many people he has to hurt to get there. Hate himr or love him, it's all the same to him. He matters and that's a victory to him.]
[The look she gives him can't be mistaken for anything other than disappointment. And worst of all, disgust. She feels sick to her stomach looking at him right now. After everything he said about Barron, everything he said he was trying to prevent, everything Barron did... Cassel did worse. So much worse.]
[Finally, her skin starts to crawl too much and her vision is beginning to blur. She won't let him win. Not now. Not ever again.]
Stay the hell away from me, Cassel.
[She turns on her heel and leaves as quickly as she can without running.]
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[He wants to fall apart, but he doesn't have the time or the luxury to do that. Instead, he just nods as she goes. Yes. He'll stay away from her. Yes. He'll leave her alone. Yes. He'll continue doing what he's been doing as though she isn't here. She will make her own space on the Barge, and he'll do his best to ensure their paths don't cross.]
[Once she's gone, he curls up on the bed and doesn't move for quite a while.]