[If it were anyone else, it wouldn't feel this natural. Even with Zane and Chris, it's something he's had to train himself into. But he never had to talk himself into letting himself be held by Daneca, really; she was always holding him, even when he was straining to get away. She was trying to whisper comfort in his ear back when he was feral and snarling.]
[Now all he has to do is relax into her arms and let go.]
[Her gentleness is still something he doesn't fully understand, but he loves her for it, and with that love comes a whole new wave of sorrow for the way he used her - the fact that he thought he had the right to use her. Worst of all, the fact that he thought she was using him. Daneca couldn't if she tries.]
[Her voice is so soft, and she is so kind, and Cassel knows he doesn't deserve to be her friend.]
I still get scared. [Something in his voice is pleading. Is that okay? Can I still be a warden, can I still be a man, can I still be grown with fear in my heart? He doesn't know - thinks, but doesn't know; suspects, but doesn't know.]
[He doesn't want to leave the warmth at the crook of her neck.]
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[Now all he has to do is relax into her arms and let go.]
[Her gentleness is still something he doesn't fully understand, but he loves her for it, and with that love comes a whole new wave of sorrow for the way he used her - the fact that he thought he had the right to use her. Worst of all, the fact that he thought she was using him. Daneca couldn't if she tries.]
[Her voice is so soft, and she is so kind, and Cassel knows he doesn't deserve to be her friend.]
I still get scared. [Something in his voice is pleading. Is that okay? Can I still be a warden, can I still be a man, can I still be grown with fear in my heart? He doesn't know - thinks, but doesn't know; suspects, but doesn't know.]
[He doesn't want to leave the warmth at the crook of her neck.]