advocacy: (☮ something's changed for the better)
Dᴀɴᴇᴄᴀ Wᴀssᴇʀᴍᴀɴ ([personal profile] advocacy) wrote2013-11-01 09:37 pm

❥ 002 spam/voice

spam - scott.
[Daneca sits in her room for a while, repeatedly closing her eyes. She keeps hoping that every time she does, the thoughts and memories swirling around in her head will stop and every time she opens them again, she hopes they just completely blip out of existence.]

[But unfortunately, what she's thinking and feeling can't be so easily wished away.]

[On the one hand, she can still feel those distant pangs for Barron. The butterflies she felt in his presence mixed with that sense of calm and security where she no longer had to fear what she was sits firmly in the back of her mind. On top of that, she can still feel the loss. The grief she felt--that other Daneca on that other Barge--is so much deeper than what she felt when she found out the truth of what he did to Cassel. She also feels guilt over feeling any of that, over feeling the way she does about Sam, even about Cassel.]

[But even worse is knowing what she did to Scott.]

[She doesn't know how he's handling the idea of her being an emotion worker. Maybe he's as angry as Sam was when he found out she was without hearing it from her directly. Maybe he's furious about her working him at all. Daneca wouldn't blame him if he were; he would be if the situation were reversed. She doesn't go to Scott out of fear of his potential anger though. She's more concerned that he may still be worked or confused.]

[She's also aware that her secret wasn't the only one put out there for people to figure out or learn.]

[She knocks on his door and waits anxiously outside.]


voice.
So that was a flood, right? I read about them over the network, but I never expected it to be... [Her voice fades a little.] ...Like that.

This might seem like a really stupid question, but how do most of you recover from something like that?
megamind: (All Smiles)

[personal profile] megamind 2013-11-02 05:55 pm (UTC)(link)
And since he just poured some good tea, I ought let him get back to taking care of me. Good luck with your dilemmas, and I hope what I was was helpful.
lastrat: (that's when we fell in love)

voice.

[personal profile] lastrat 2013-11-02 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Fairly.

[Quite.]
lastrat: (with our one foot in the grave)

voice.

[personal profile] lastrat 2013-11-02 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Why?
patheticvillain: (ʭ lost all that you could)

spam

[personal profile] patheticvillain 2013-11-02 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[He nods. Still doesn't look at her, though this time not because he doesn't want to but because it hurts, thinking about Barron.]

You got every right to.

[There's no forgiveness because there's nothing to forgive. She loved him - loves him. Cassel knows better than anybody that loving someone is one of those things that sticks like a burr and gets right under your skin. You can't just brush it off, you can't just make it go away.]

[Lila will never leave him, and he knows now that really, whatever that was, it wasn't love. He can't imagine what it's like for Daneca, knowing now what Cassel's done and coming from a place where Barron's dead by Cassel's hand.]

[It's bravery or desperation or some fucked-up combination that's got her here at all, after that.]


I miss him too.
lastrat: (I see)

voice.

[personal profile] lastrat 2013-11-02 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I would.

[gurl.] If you intend to come play teetotaler, don't waste your time.
routemistress: i nicked this off Tumblr (graphic)

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-11-02 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. It's how this boat works. Growth by trauma. Everyone just got a good hard look at the kind of world we end up with when everyone's trying to outpredator each other. Even the hardest cases start to see the value in looking after each other when they've been shown a world where that's the exception.

It's ugly. I manage to live with myself because I didn't force anyone to be here. Because I'm working to give them their chance to leave, and because I go through it with them. But it does work.
lastrat: (be careful how you lick your wounds)

voice.

[personal profile] lastrat 2013-11-02 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Good.

You should get something from the pub and go find someone else to share with.

[Which is...his way of saying he's in the pub. Sort of.]
routemistress: (black hat)

[suddenly, video]

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-11-02 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
No, the trauma doesn't fix anyone. We fix each other. The trauma's just a way to kickstart that.

...It's easy to say that. It ought to be true. You treat folk decently as natural as breathing. But we both know it's not true for a lot of us. And it's not like they didn't 'ave their chance. My Victor's two 'undred years old; nothing in 'is life's ever given 'im reason to believe that caring for others is owt but a weakness. 'E wouldn't struggle with it; 'e'd laugh in your face and then tear it off with 'is claws. And 'e's not the worst 'ere by a long shot.

I'm not saying it's perfect. Or even right. But it's effective and it's what we've got.
patheticvillain: (ʭ the ocean meets the sand)

spam

[personal profile] patheticvillain 2013-11-02 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[His gaze jumps to her face all of a sudden, alarmed. The word change frightens him for a tenth of a second and then he understands, or thinks he does - she sees. She won't forgive him, because just as there's nothing she's done to require forgiveness, there are some things that simply can't be forgiven.]

[He knows that. He's all right with it. He pities himself for a hundred things but not that, not anymore.]

[Something shifts in his eyes. Pain slides across them like cataract clouds, and then he squeezes her hand lightly.]


Yeah. I have. But I'm not here for me.
routemistress: (Hmmm)

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-11-02 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't put words in my mouth, lady. What I'm saying is this is the Barge we've got and this is part of 'ow it works. Did I say that were the only way to change anyone, the best way or even the right way? I did not. I just said it works. I've seen it work. And I'm staying with it because I love this boat and I love people 'ere. That's it. I don't pretend to 'ave an overarching philosophy about the 'ole thing, so don't go extrapolating my feelings about the 'ere and now into one, thank you very much.
patheticvillain: (ʭ i said "i can too")

[personal profile] patheticvillain 2013-11-02 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Iris.
routemistress: (black hat)

[personal profile] routemistress 2013-11-02 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
...sorry, love. You too, Daneca.

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