advocacy | ❥ 002 spam/voice

spam - scott.
[Daneca sits in her room for a while, repeatedly closing her eyes. She keeps hoping that every time she does, the thoughts and memories swirling around in her head will stop and every time she opens them again, she hopes they just completely blip out of existence.]

[But unfortunately, what she's thinking and feeling can't be so easily wished away.]

[On the one hand, she can still feel those distant pangs for Barron. The butterflies she felt in his presence mixed with that sense of calm and security where she no longer had to fear what she was sits firmly in the back of her mind. On top of that, she can still feel the loss. The grief she felt--that other Daneca on that other Barge--is so much deeper than what she felt when she found out the truth of what he did to Cassel. She also feels guilt over feeling any of that, over feeling the way she does about Sam, even about Cassel.]

[But even worse is knowing what she did to Scott.]

[She doesn't know how he's handling the idea of her being an emotion worker. Maybe he's as angry as Sam was when he found out she was without hearing it from her directly. Maybe he's furious about her working him at all. Daneca wouldn't blame him if he were; he would be if the situation were reversed. She doesn't go to Scott out of fear of his potential anger though. She's more concerned that he may still be worked or confused.]

[She's also aware that her secret wasn't the only one put out there for people to figure out or learn.]

[She knocks on his door and waits anxiously outside.]

voice.
So that was a flood, right? I read about them over the network, but I never expected it to be... [Her voice fades a little.] ...Like that.

This might seem like a really stupid question, but how do most of you recover from something like that?

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[He opens his mouth, when she starts, to tell her she doesn't have to, she doesn't owe him. But she came here for a reason, she wanted to talk, so he presses his lips together and lets her.

It makes sense, suddenly. A lot of sense. And it's almost a relief, though it doesn't make the guilt go away. He doesn't understand at all what she means by crime - he gets that Cassel's from some screwed up situation, but he doesn't know enough about her world to figure it out.

When she mentions her boyfriend - names him - Scott's brow furrows, confusion officially sweeping him away.]

Not Barron?

[He bites his lip immediately. She was crying over him, after all.] I didn't mean to...I'm sorry. You don't - you don't have to answer that.

No, it's okay, [she says a little too quickly and barely manages to stop herself from holding up her hands at the same time.]

Barron was my boyfriend. After Sam found out, he stopped talking to me for a while. He wouldn't see me, he wouldn't return any of my calls. So, I tried to move on and I did with Barron.

But after I found out what he did to Cassel, I couldn't be with him anymore.

So I left him. And I ended up getting back together with Sam.

I, um...I don't know what he did to Cassel. [But it sounds bad, and his brow is furrowing again, because maybe it's not something she should be telling him. He scratches his totally even jaw.]

Can I ask you something?

[Daneca nods a little.]

Whatever you want.

[She realizes she might not necessarily answer the question completely, but she'll try to answer with as much as she can.]

Why'd you mention crime? I mean, you said your family wasn't involved with the - well I assumed the mob, whatever - but what's that got to do with anything?

It's uh--

Well, when they banned alcohol, they also banned working. They put workers into camps separate from everybody else. They eventually lifted the ban on alcohol and let workers out of the camps, but they didn't make working legal again.

[So...]

Seriously? That's crazy.

[That sounds insane, but then - what would the government do, if they knew about werewolves?]

I, um. I wanted to tell you - I'm not an alpha. I'm not - I can't....turn people. And I wouldn't, even if I could. I just - need you to know that.

[Daneca shakes her head quickly.]

I didn't-- I wasn't-- I mean, you just never seemed that way.

I'm not. I'm - I was acting like the guy who did this to me. And to be honest, I kind of freaking hate him.

[He falls silent for a moment, brow drawing together again.] So can you - undo the working? I don't really know how it...works.

[That catches Daneca a little off-guard.]

Cassel said it should have passed and left you already. Do you still...?

Like you?

[He looks as guilty as he feels, which is very.] Yeah. I mean I don't - I don't feel like I've forgotten about my...about Allison anymore. But...

It fades. Over time.

I mean, you'll always remember it. But it'll just feel like you went through a phase of liking me and got over it with time.

[Daneca purses her lips and looks down.]

I'm really sorry, Scott.

It's okay. [He's quick to say it. It's not like she hasn't been cool about him being a monster.]

I mean, I do like you. Before the...thing. I just love Allison. [It's still kind of awesome to say.]

[Daneca smiles a little, briefly and somewhat awkwardly.]

That's good to hear. But I want to you know that I understand if it's uncomfortable or awkward for you, Scott.

I don't want you to feel like you have to be around me or talk to me. It's really okay if you don't want to.

Are you kidding? This whole thing is uncomfortable and awkward. I just want to forget how I was planning to kill people.

[He runs a hand through his hair, gives her a sort of hopeful look.] I mean, I just thought - we could still be friends. If that's okay with you.

[She looks genuinely surprised to hear that. Not that she thought poorly of Scott (and Cassel would be right; rejecting her would be incredibly hypocritical), but she still didn't think he'd want to be friends with her after something like that. At least not right away.]

[She allows a small smile.]

I'd like that.

[Scott is really good at forgiveness. He's really good at recognizing the things people are afraid of and trying to make them okay, even if he doesn't realize that. What makes her different is scary - and what makes him different is scary, too.]

Cool. Are we, um - is there anything else?

[Daneca shakes her head and stands up.]

No, I should go. I'm still... The blowback lasts a little while.

[She heads over to the door, but pauses and looks back at Scott.]

And for what it's worth, I don't think any differently of you. You're not a werewolf to me.

You're just Scott.

So, I would have kept your secret, too.

[He stands when she does, nodding until she turns back. He freezes up, then, and he doesn't know if he's - sad, or happy, or what. Because it's exactly what he wanted to hear, maybe what he needed to hear.

It's what he wants to hear from Allison, but she isn't here. She can't say that. And besides, he reasons, she'll never know he's a werewolf if he can get through this and graduate someone.]

Thanks, Daneca.

[He doesn't point out that their respective secrets are out, now. It's too obvious, even for him.]

[She offers a small smile and nods. Raising a hand some, she gives a small wave.]

I'll see you around.

[And then she's gone.]

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