Entry tags:
- baby's first flood,
- cassel complicating everything again,
- denial is not just a river in egypt,
- how do i public addressing?,
- i fell in love with a man on the run,
- scott has a secret too,
- teenage identity crisis,
- that sinner was taken from her,
- was not actually that great,
- zambies & werewoofs & dumpires oh my!
❥ 002 spam/voice
spam - scott.
[Daneca sits in her room for a while, repeatedly closing her eyes. She keeps hoping that every time she does, the thoughts and memories swirling around in her head will stop and every time she opens them again, she hopes they just completely blip out of existence.]
[But unfortunately, what she's thinking and feeling can't be so easily wished away.]
[On the one hand, she can still feel those distant pangs for Barron. The butterflies she felt in his presence mixed with that sense of calm and security where she no longer had to fear what she was sits firmly in the back of her mind. On top of that, she can still feel the loss. The grief she felt--that other Daneca on that other Barge--is so much deeper than what she felt when she found out the truth of what he did to Cassel. She also feels guilt over feeling any of that, over feeling the way she does about Sam, even about Cassel.]
[But even worse is knowing what she did to Scott.]
[She doesn't know how he's handling the idea of her being an emotion worker. Maybe he's as angry as Sam was when he found out she was without hearing it from her directly. Maybe he's furious about her working him at all. Daneca wouldn't blame him if he were; he would be if the situation were reversed. She doesn't go to Scott out of fear of his potential anger though. She's more concerned that he may still be worked or confused.]
[She's also aware that her secret wasn't the only one put out there for people to figure out or learn.]
[She knocks on his door and waits anxiously outside.]
voice.
So that was a flood, right? I read about them over the network, but I never expected it to be... [Her voice fades a little.] ...Like that.
This might seem like a really stupid question, but how do most of you recover from something like that?
[Daneca sits in her room for a while, repeatedly closing her eyes. She keeps hoping that every time she does, the thoughts and memories swirling around in her head will stop and every time she opens them again, she hopes they just completely blip out of existence.]
[But unfortunately, what she's thinking and feeling can't be so easily wished away.]
[On the one hand, she can still feel those distant pangs for Barron. The butterflies she felt in his presence mixed with that sense of calm and security where she no longer had to fear what she was sits firmly in the back of her mind. On top of that, she can still feel the loss. The grief she felt--that other Daneca on that other Barge--is so much deeper than what she felt when she found out the truth of what he did to Cassel. She also feels guilt over feeling any of that, over feeling the way she does about Sam, even about Cassel.]
[But even worse is knowing what she did to Scott.]
[She doesn't know how he's handling the idea of her being an emotion worker. Maybe he's as angry as Sam was when he found out she was without hearing it from her directly. Maybe he's furious about her working him at all. Daneca wouldn't blame him if he were; he would be if the situation were reversed. She doesn't go to Scott out of fear of his potential anger though. She's more concerned that he may still be worked or confused.]
[She's also aware that her secret wasn't the only one put out there for people to figure out or learn.]
[She knocks on his door and waits anxiously outside.]
voice.
So that was a flood, right? I read about them over the network, but I never expected it to be... [Her voice fades a little.] ...Like that.
This might seem like a really stupid question, but how do most of you recover from something like that?
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Oh. Sorry. I'm still... I'm still pretty new.
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One of the others would more likely be better suited to answer your more emotional needs.
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[text]
It was... a sort of event that we don't really have a nautical term for. A barge "Perfect Storm", perhaps.
Hello. I'm Megamind, and we haven't met yet. I'm afraid I'm not able to be on video at the moment, and my voice is shot, but I assure you it's a pleasure to meet you.
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Sorry, I'm still...figuring all this stuff out.
I hope you feel better soon.
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A good support structure is very necessary on the barge.
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private
[He feels like he's invading even doing this. But he does it anyway; he doesn't want her to feel like she has to be alone, unless she wants to be.]
if you want/need help with damage control ill do what i can. i know you didnt want anybody to know.
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[But on the other hand, he's the only other worker on the Barge. He's the only other person who can really understand what it's like and he's the only person here who's watched her get outed before.]
[He's the only person who knows how scared she is right now.]
[She forces her voice to stay even and steady.]
Would you mind coming to my cabin, Cassel? [But then it cracks a little.] Please?
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[Well. He's not heartless. He never was, exactly; just terrifically self-absorbed.]
[He switches to voice, even-toned. He doesn't sound afraid. He's terrified. He's in pain. But this is one thing he can do, being able to lie: he can be solid, some of the time.]
I'll be there in ten.
Do you, um. Need anything.
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private ~> spam
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Daneca.
[He's happy to see her. He wants to talk to her. (He wants to kiss her, and the guilt he feels over that, knowing he's here because he loves Allison, is enormous.)]
What's. What's up?
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[She stops herself before she can start and stop one more time. Daneca purses her lips and settles her mind down. Drawing a small, steady breath, she finally manages to string together a sentence.]
Can we talk?
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[He is staying drunk the end.]
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voice. ~~> spam.
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[text]
and at pressuring each other to forgive ourselves
that was a bad one even by barge standards though <3 <3
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I want to say we're not those people, but we both know we are. But we're the ones who've consistently chosen not to behave like those people. Hold onto that, Daneca, because everyone that knows you doesn't need reminding of it. Even I don't and I've known you five minutes.
and we got one graduation out of it. I won't be too surprised if we get a few more.
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[suddenly, video]
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They're usually not... nearly that destructive.
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[She's trying to make a little light of it, but it's not easy. At all.]
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