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❥ 002 spam/voice

spam - scott.
[Daneca sits in her room for a while, repeatedly closing her eyes. She keeps hoping that every time she does, the thoughts and memories swirling around in her head will stop and every time she opens them again, she hopes they just completely blip out of existence.]

[But unfortunately, what she's thinking and feeling can't be so easily wished away.]

[On the one hand, she can still feel those distant pangs for Barron. The butterflies she felt in his presence mixed with that sense of calm and security where she no longer had to fear what she was sits firmly in the back of her mind. On top of that, she can still feel the loss. The grief she felt--that other Daneca on that other Barge--is so much deeper than what she felt when she found out the truth of what he did to Cassel. She also feels guilt over feeling any of that, over feeling the way she does about Sam, even about Cassel.]

[But even worse is knowing what she did to Scott.]

[She doesn't know how he's handling the idea of her being an emotion worker. Maybe he's as angry as Sam was when he found out she was without hearing it from her directly. Maybe he's furious about her working him at all. Daneca wouldn't blame him if he were; he would be if the situation were reversed. She doesn't go to Scott out of fear of his potential anger though. She's more concerned that he may still be worked or confused.]

[She's also aware that her secret wasn't the only one put out there for people to figure out or learn.]

[She knocks on his door and waits anxiously outside.]

voice.
So that was a flood, right? I read about them over the network, but I never expected it to be... [Her voice fades a little.] ...Like that.

This might seem like a really stupid question, but how do most of you recover from something like that?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well, that's one way of dealing with it.]

So you were trying to kill the agent and the general. Who's Quantum though?

[He exhales through his nose, fixes his drink and drops in another lemon twist. He doesn't want to talk about Quantum.]

A criminal organization. Apolitical, dealt with dictators and liberators. I took them apart.

[Bit by bit, with the information he got from Greene. He hasn't considered them in recent years, but he is afraid, some nights, that they have only slipped out of reach again.]

Meaning...?

[You killed them all? You sent them on an early retirement? You sent them exploding chocolates? What Bond? What?]

[Why do you need all the details, Daneca, jesus. He just pauses for a moment, thinking back - and he does need to, it's been years and he's very drunk.]

Meaning they infiltrated us, tried to kill someone important to me, and spent a good deal of time turning the CIA and MI6 against me.

[A year ago, he would've been wary about handing out information like this. Now, it just doesn't matter.]

I got information from one of them, and then I left him in the middle of the Bolivian desert. Imagine the rest, Wasserman.

[She frowns a little.]

Do you ever have time off? Or is that seriously your life all the time?

Technically I have weekends off.

[Unless, you know, he's needed for a mission. He shrugs.]

There are other double-ohs. They just save me the most exciting missions. [Cause he's the best. Obviously.]

So, the Bond girls thing is made up, right? I don't see how you'd have time to sleep with that many women with that busy of a schedule.

[She can't help asking about that, okay. It's what happens when you're a famous manwhore. She isn't judging, but seriously.]

Bond girls? [He'd much prefer a different topic, given the givens, but. Seriously? Bond girls? That can't be what they're called.] Really? Not even Bond women? [He's almost amused.

Okay, he's kind of amused.]

Edited 2013-11-04 07:08 (UTC)

[Daneca holds up her hands.]

I didn't name them. It's a big deal though where I'm from if you get to play a Bond girl in the movies. Your career usually takes off after that.

[Well his ego just adores that.] Let me guess. I have a meaningful, romantic relationship with all of them? [That is hilarious.

Also depressing because hah, meaningful relationships. But mostly hilarious.]

[Daneca gives a small shrug of her shoulders.]

I guess? You kinda just sleep together and she either dies or you never see them again, but she's important throughout the movie while she's there.

[Well that takes some of the humor out of it, and he takes another drink before nodding.]

Sounds about right.

[Daneca purses her lips.]

Sorry. I didn't mean to-- That was too personal. And it's your life anyways. Not the movies.

Sorry.

[He doesn't answer at all for a little while, staring over the bar and nursing his martini. He's nursed injuries and various hurts with alcohol before, but nursing death is something a little different. He can't stop his mind wandering to the bodies he's left behind him. It's a wonder none of them were waiting to claw him apart in death, met at the proverbial River Styx.

But then, he'd have to believe in something like that.]

I've never seen the movies. How did Sean Connery do?

Well, he's pretty much synonymous with your name. All the guys want to be him and all the girls want to be with him.

[That earns a snort.] Must be very romanticized.

Maybe.

But I mean, I can't say I really blame them for ignoring the bad parts and only focusing on the good. You see little boys running around with fake guns talking into their watches not just because of cool action sequences or because you're hooking up with hot women.

They do it because you're giving up so much of yourself to protect everyone, but you don't have superpowers. You're just an ordinary guy living an extraordinary life. You're a hero to them.

So don't sell yourself short.

[He doesn't roll his eyes, doesn't snort again. He just puts his glass down and turns to look at her dead on. His eyes are hard and very far from clear; he's drunk, he's unhappy, he's almost angry with these little boys he's never met. He's a little angry with her.]

The hero is a fantasy. If they think it's all fast women and gorgeous cars, sacrificing and still walking away whole, then they're just children, and they'll grow up. Toys and pretend don't mean anything eventually. You put them away, and you learn what the real world is like.

It's not about heroism, and it bloody well isn't about selling myself short. Do you know what it takes, to get double-oh status?

[Daneca meets his eyes without any fear or shrinking away. He can be angry all he wants. She just straightens a little in her seat.]

No.

[It makes him respect her, even if it's more reactionary than logically acknowledged. Anger is fine, but he's had enough aggression to last him a while, so instead of leaning in and invading her space, he holds up two fingers.]

Two kills. Have you ever killed someone? Knowingly planned a murder, and set out to accomplish it?

No. My ex-boyfriend did more than just twice. But he didn't do it for any cause than his own personal gain.

Maybe it's not about heroism. But I know the difference between what you do and what he did.

Oh? Go on. What's the difference?

Barron hurt his family to put himself forward, the people he was supposed to protect. He lied to me about it. If what he was doing was for the right reasons, he wouldn't have to lie. He could have just told me. I could have accepted it.

What you do isn't pretty. It's not glamorous like the movies make it out to be. It hurts you and everyone around you one way or another.

But at least you can be honest about it.

Honesty is the very last thing I can afford. [He drinks.]

I've had two official covers and dozens of NOCs. The only people who know what I do are the ones I work with. [He doesn't have friends outside of the job: he doesn't have them within MI6, either. He has associates, colleagues, other double-ohs. And even them he finds it difficult to trust.]

Maybe he thought lying would protect you. [God only knows how often he's lied to Vesper - and to every woman he's been with since her death.] Sometimes the right reasons get awfully fogged.

[Daneca looks away then. Her feelings about Barron are a little raw and on the very surface. She's not like Cassel who can pretend like things don't both him and quietly file it away.]

He seemed to have that problem a lot with more than just me. Lying doesn't protect anyone though. It just makes the truth hurt worse.

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